as a distance runner, not running for over 6 months has been a deep-seated challenge on many levels. 2011 was a challenging year for my relationship with my running passion. it started on an energized high, got stymied by weather and work schedule, then the declining health of my dog and the sadness that took over and my need to be with her as much as possible factored in my dropping out of my scheduled spring race. her death, the summer heat, and my work schedule contributed to my withering aerobic stamina. i knew that when i started back to running, i would need a gradual build up to get my fitness back to even a moderate mileage level.
running is not only my physical fitness preference, it is my zen, my creative inspiration time, my meditation, a discipline that takes commitment and work, the way i challenge myself to push a little farther--an energy that translates to other areas of my life. it tunes me to listen--to my body, to the world around me. it necessitates optimum nutrition. it nourishes happiness and health on almost every level. and it's tough. i am a runner. i love running.
but i find myself resisting getting in full swing. why would returning to my passion be a challenge? for the first time, i bailed on a race last year. i abdicated something that is and has been of core importance to me for eons. would i get back my mojo or would i bail again?
i am not in the best of neighborhoods and running from my loft to the main course i run in downtown atlanta depresses me and stresses me out. i have to be quite on guard for at least the first and last mile. inspiration does not happen for me here.
schedule. it will always be a challenge. and fatigue.
but here it is. that's the crux of it isn't it. running wraps all our life struggles in its strides. the biggest running lessons for me at this point in my return are:
- let go and find my flow--don't set expectations for big races but find my groove and joy and soul again
- BALANCE--set boundaries for my time so that i can get to sleep early enough to get my runs in consistently. work and personal balance. finding that balance and protecting it is everything.
- joy is not dependent on what is outside us but what is within us. tapping in to that is knowing how to access our vitality.
- GRATITUDE keeps me real and keeps me happy to be out there even when it's a struggle.
here's to each step in the journey.
