Stumble It!as i blogged about several weeks ago, i am experiencing a midlife reassessment. and so far, i am energized by the shifts, as long as i act on them. if i feel them but don't take action, it is guaranteed to fester and cause me anguish for not following through on my needs. i have found that issues i have been hesitant to bring up are actually refreshing to work through once they're all out on the table.
one of the values i am noticing a significant shift in, which i am pleased about, is my accountability. when i think about accountability as one of my core values, i have in the past considered accountability to be primarily my behavior towards others. but what i am giving just as much consideration to now is my accountability to myself. after all, we have to take care of ourselves in order to be in a place where we are able to care for others in the way that we would like.
the most recent eye-opener for me in the self-accountability discovery is i don't always honor my need to have time to recharge. i talk about it. working in a creative field, my job is to be about to generate creativity. but when i don't fill up that well, it can run low on fresh ideas. i found myself on a recent attempted getaway to manhattan in a head space where i was more frustrated and tired from all the work prior to the trip and for the energy spent getting things in order to be able to go and i was not a happy camper. the trip had its positives but it was by no means a recharge or the getaway i had hoped. i am not happy with the frustration i verbalized either to my traveling companions.
but it was all because i had not been accountable to myself in taking care of myself. i was frazzled from a prolonged period of taking care of others... that's my job as a producer. plus i take care of my home, my domestic responsibilities, my furry child who has been having months of senior pup issues, and i like to do things to take care of my squeeze. yes, i know, we all have loads to take care of and many have much more than i, but i'm in a period where it's been a long time since i've had a day where i haven't needed to be accountable to projects, deadlines, commitments and all the people involved. i heard myself declaring i wanted to be taken care of. that's not something i often say.
so taking my lesson to heart, and not feeling apologetic about it, in order to be accountable to others, i need to be accountable to myself and give myself the same care and tlc i strive to create for everyone else. i am aiming for a couple days at the beach, on the beach, in a resort hotel that takes zoe. yes, the pricetag reflects a bit of luxe. but it is in my best interest to do what i need for a proper recharge. and yes, i need to be taken care of. and connect with nature. i can hear the ocean waves already.
liz
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