Nicolo Maciavelli said, “Before all else, be armed.” I know that he is speaking of weapons in that statement but when I read it, it struck me differently. “Being armed” to me is being prepared. Life is wonderful but we are tested and challenged at times and we need to “be armed” in order to adequately face those tests and challenges; we need to have a varied cache of weapons in our arsenal.
I don’t own a gun. I respect the fact that Americans have a right to bear arms but I’m horribly inept when handling sharp items so if there weren’t other reasons for my not having a gun, my penchant to be beyond clumsy while handling dangerous objects would keep me from purchasing one. So in that way I am not armed and I don’t feel a need to be but in other ways I think it’s of the utmost importance to be such.
Every day something does awry. I don’t necessarily notice those things or dwell on them for by and large most things go as I expect them to. But no matter how well planned any day is, something unexpected always occurs. Recently the electricity went out about an hour before I had to be at
an appointment. My plans to shower, blow dry my hair and iron my outfit changed. Not a big deal – I wasn’t happy about it but I managed to give the illusion that nothing had gone wrong with my morning as I attended my appointment. Things like this happen all the time – little hiccups occur every day – big hiccups happen too – and if we aren’t properly armed things could seem much more negative or dire than they really are.
On any given day I often end up driving to at least one place to which I had no intention of driving. When you have children that don’t yet drive this happens a lot. To a degree you can “plan” for these departures from your schedule by just reminding yourself that these dependents of yours are, in fact, dependent upon you. Things break. Children get sick. We get sick. Pets get sick. Activities must be attended. Weather disruptions occur. Someone doesn’t show up for work. Traffic gets snarled on the highway. Waiting times are underestimated. Someone asks for our help. Computers seem to have minds of their own. Flights get cancelled. People get fired. Bad news is delivered. Someone breaks up with us. Someone dies. How is it that we manage these unexpected challenges and the emotions that ensue? By being armed.
Every day I have to adapt in some way. Decision-making and the management of our personal and professional lives involves being well-armed with a diverse set of values to keep us the most positive and balanced that we can be. Some of these values may seem to be dormant at times but it’s important that they are there when we need them. If I’m blue, I think about what or who makes me happy; what or who I love. If I’m frustrated I conjure up as much patience as impatient me can do – I try to be understanding and tolerant and compassionate – especially if I’m frustrated with another person versus a situation. When I have been insulted, marginalized or offended by someone, my self-respect and confidence reminds me that my opinion of me is what matters. On days when I have bitten off more than I can chew and am overscheduled, I stay focused on being accountable to help me stay on track and not be tempted to let some responsibility slip. And when my normally optimistic outlook is anything but, I try to change gears and focus on what I am grateful for as opposed to what is going wrong.
Not everyone is armed in the same way. Some of us have bigger guns and a greater inventory of weapons in our arsenal, so to speak. We can all be better armed at times or do a better job of utilizing what is available to us. Sometimes I go looking for a “weapon” to combat something that’s going on in my life and I get distracted or give up looking too soon. Our values are incredible “weapons” that help us fight off the bad, the negative, the difficult challenges that we face in our lives. So, yes, before all else, be armed – you will find, then, that you have the ability to face and overcome whatever challenges rise up and attempt to throw you off your game. – AMB