What Are We Supposed to Do?

Joe Paterno says he regrets that he didn’t do more,referring to not doing anything more than telling his superiors about the alleged sexual abuse of boys by his one-time defensive coordinator, Jerry Sandusky. He said, “I did what I was supposed to do”, referring to having told his superiors. Well…what I take issue with is his feeling that what he was “supposed to do” when told about a possible child rape by one of his coaches was to tell his superiors and be done with it. What are we supposed to do when faced with something that horrible? So many people are saying that we really don’t know what we’d do if we were in that situation. Really? I do. It’s a child. I have no doubt that I wouldn’t basically be saying “well, I told my boss, it’s no longer my problem.” Seriously? Certainly there is a lot to this story, and by no means are the crimes that Sandusky committed against children Paterno’s fault, but didn’t he have an obligation to ensure that the issue was properly reported? Didn’t he have a responsibility to ensure that this man, who was bringing children onto his field and into his locker room, was not abusing them in any way? That was “his house” – shouldn’t he know what’s going on in
it, isn’t that part of his job as head coach? Shouldn’t he have been a little more hands-on? What are we really “supposed to do” in that situation? To attempt to absolve yourself of responsibility or defend your action/inaction by basically citing some University handbook or policy is absurd. Sure, legally, in the state of PA, he did all he was “supposed” to do. Not sure that would help me sleep at night.

Now, I have nothing against Joe Paterno and certainly don’t want to come across as blaming him. The real criminal is Jerry Sandusky and then there are also the people who did fail to report things to a higher authority – they are also being charged. But Paterno should have done more. Even if he wasn’t legally required to tell authorities, why wouldn’t he? Or at least find out if his superiors did? This wasn’t a case of someone stealing some sports equipment, this was the molestation or rape of a child. The former you might let someone else worry about, I’m not sure how you could avoid worrying
about the latter.

It shocks me to read how many people don’t report cases of suspected abuses against children – or anyone for that matter. I have on more than one occasion injected myself into what seemed like a precarious situation for a child, usually in an attempt to calm what I viewed as an overstressed
mother who was losing control. My saying “hey, do you need some help” has, on more than one occasion, seemed to lower the stress of the moment. Other times I think inserting myself into something that some might view as none of my business has been a reminder that someone else is watching – and that that someone else might do more than just say something – they might take down a license plate number or call the authorities. Knowing that someone else is watching may help bring about some self-control or maybe it does nothing more than delay an abuse until later but I – a person who tends to avoid interacting with other people – could not walk past these incidents – or potential incidents – without attempting to do some good for that child. That’s how I know I wouldn’t, for one second, hesitate to act upon seeing or hearing of a child in even graver danger. So yes, Paterno, in my opinion, deserves to be fired. He may have followed “the rules” but he had a tremendous values failure. It was not “right” to just adhere to the basic requirements of some policy. If he had thought for one minute about what he would have done had that been his child I bet his response and actions would have been completely different. When we look at matters so impersonally or as not our business – which so many of us do – it’s easy to not get involved or to do the bare minimum that we are “supposed to do”. But if we make it personal – if we picture that boy in the shower being sexually abused as our son or our nephew or our best friend’s child then we will likely have the answer to what we should do. Reporting it to our superiors is just one of the things we’d do not the only thing.

So while statistics show that most people would have done what Joe Paterno did were they in his position, I have difficulty accepting that. Aren’t we better than that? I would hope so. And maybe that’s all I can really do is hope. So if that’s the case then I hope I will never be in a situation where I regret that I didn’t do more. I hope that I will always act to defend the defenseless; doing what I know in my heart is the right thing. I hope that I will never be satisfied doing what I was supposed to do if it doesn’t result in proper or just actions. I hope that I will never be a party to another’s suffering by failing to act. And I hope that anyone who sees a child in danger – or even thinks they are seeing a child in danger – will do something – no, not just something – I hope that they will do everything that they can to try to ensure that child is safe and protected. Why? Because that is what I think we are supposed to do. - AMB