Be Generous

Walking through a mall and looking at the crowded parking lots outside of stores one can see how the approaching holidays have caused us to be generous with our spending. This time of year people are in a giving mood – there is gift giving, of course, and the donation of food, clothing and toys to those who are in need – but there are other ways in which we can give of ourselves. I think we often forget that being generous doesn’t require an outlay of cash or the giving of a physical item. We needn’t reserve our generosity for holidays and birthdays and events where it’s a tradition to give some sort of gift in honor of the occasion.

I received a card from one of my students at the end of a class I taught this fall thanking me for all that I taught her. She also wrote that she wished she could have bought me a gift but that she wasn’t able to but she hoped that I knew how much she appreciated me. Her words were, in fact, a gift to me and I wrote her a note telling her so. One of the topics I cover in the class she took – a leadership class – is generosity. As soon as I mention the word and ask the students how leaders can be generous they seem a little perplexed because the image that came to mind upon hearing that word is of someone who gives a lot of some “thing” – gifts, money, material objects of some sort – to another. But then I explain to them the ways in which we can be generous that cost nothing but that are invaluable. The advice I shared with them – written below – is what I try to remember all year long. It not only helps you be a better leader, it makes you a better person.

Be generous with your time. Stop typing on the computer long enough to listen to something that happened to your child at school. Run to the store for a sick neighbor. Volunteer in a classroom or for an organization that needs help. Write a letter to an aging relative. Return the phone call or email to that friend who reached out to you. We all have commitments that keep us extraordinarily busy but when someone needs help, wishes to talk, asks for advice or just wants to share some space with you, give it to them; give them your time.

Be generous with your words. Don’t leave anything important left unsaid. If it’s good, say it. If it’s going to brighten the day or another, say it. If it’s going to help someone forget they are sad, lonely, uncertain about something, feeling left out or stressed then say it. Not too many people tire of hearing words that make them feel happy, loved, needed, appreciated, respected or valuable on some level so articulate those feelings when you have them.

Be generous with your knowledge. So often people are very protective of their knowledge - especially in the workplace. They feel that this knowledge is an asset – and while it is, it does less good and provides less benefit to an organization as a whole if it is not shared. Sharing your knowledge – whether it’s with peers in the workplace, your children, friends, neighbors, whomever – is good for everyone. A more knowledgeable workforce usually results in greater productivity and efficiencies which often leads to greater profits. Sharing our knowledge helps children learn, it may help neighbors avoid using an unreliable contractor, it can help friends make better choices about myriad things.

Be generous with your silence. I know I just said to be generous with your words but sometimes it’s silence that is needed. Listen. Listen well. Really listen, don’t just nod and say “uh huh” in all the right places. Be a good listener to those who seek out your ear and be generous with your silence, very mindfully choosing how and when to contribute your words. Let others have the floor – to either shine in their moment or to allow them to share what they feel they need to share with you.

Be generous with your talents and abilities. We are all good at something. When we think of “talent” we often think of musical talent or artistic talent but a talent needn’t be something that is performed. Thankfully or I’d be talentless! You may be a good people-person, or a very organized event planner. Some folks have mad computer skills while others are good with their hands and can build or fix just about anything. Things we don’t often think of as talents really are to those of us who lack those skills. If you know how to “fix something” and someone needs something fixed, offer to do it for them. Show your child or a friend of your child how to swing a bat properly or shoot a basketball if you see that need or are asked for that help. When a call is made for people who can run events or create certain types of documents or who can physically do certain things and you fit the bill, step up and contribute. What good are your talents and abilities if you never share them with others?

Most of us associate a dollar sign with the word generosity but there are countless, and often better, ways to be generous every single day. It just takes a little noticing and thinking of others. - AMB